CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE - BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE
The Genesis of Marriage:
Genesis, the book of the beginnings in the Bible relates in the first chapter, the history of creation. We see in this chapter that at the end of every created thing, GOD commends it as being good. Nevertheless, after the creation of male and female (Adam & Eve), he derives a sense of completion and satisfaction and then taking an overall view of all that he had created, GOD commends it, as being very good. Why? because man (that includes woman) is the epitome of GOD’s creation which is best expressed in Genesis1:28 that GOD blessed them (Adam & Eve), and GOD said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.
Therefore, family was initiated and constituted by GOD even before the church was. Out of all relationships, it is the only relationship where there is a physical consummation in that of a man and woman where their spirits are meshed into commitment of love and sacredness which is not to be violated upon.
Therefore, it is vital to know that next to the salvation of our soul, the most important decision we have to make in life is that of choosing our life partner.
Choosing a life partner is a very important decision and a mistake in this area can make the rest of our life miserable.
Choosing a good Life Partner:
How can one choose a good life partner?
Let us go to the designer’s manual (THE BIBLE) for the guidelines:
- A Christian believer is not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers for it will ruin his/her life.[2Corinthians6:14-16]
- Since, Marriage is GOD’s will and choosing the right partner too, pray to GOD with all confidence regarding this.[1John5:14; John16:23]
- Rest in the wisdom of GOD to guide and lead you to your life partner. [Prov3:5,6; Ps32:8,9; Prov19:14]
Choosing the Groom:
What are the qualities that a bride should look in a groom?
- He should be GOD fearing [Mathew 6:33].
- He should be compatible (common areas to agree with) otherwise according to WORD OF GOD you cannot live together without agreement [Amos3:3].
- He should be working [2Thessalonians3:10; Proverbs28:19].
- He should be responsible enough to head, provide, and protect his family [1Timothy5:8; Ephesians5:25-31].
- Judge his talks and you will know what is in his heart, because out of the abundance of heart the mouth speaks [Luke6:45].
Choosing the Bride:
What are the qualities that a groom should look in a bride?
- She should be GOD fearing [Mathew 6:33].
- She should be compatible (common areas to agree with) otherwise according to WORD OF GOD you cannot live together without agreement [Amos3:3].
- She should be woman of substance as described in [Proverbs 31:10-31].
- She should be a good helper with the inner beauty, as described in [1Peter 3:1-6].
- Judge her talks and you will know what is in her heart, because out of the abundance of heart the mouth speaks [Luke6:45].
Common Qualities in both the Bride & Groom:
What are the qualities, a bride and groom should possess?
- GOD should be the first priority in their lives.[Mathew 6:33, Ecclesiastes12:13]
- GOD should be the centre of their relationship. For a TRIFOLD cord is not quickly broken.[Ecclesiastes 4:12]
- Should depend on the Lord to build their family.[Psalms127:1].
- Should raise up godly offspring. [Malachi2:15.]
- Submission to GOD’s word.[Psalms119:105]
Comments On Marriage:
Marriage is very good. Why?
- GOD affirmed marriage
- GOD ordained marriage
- GOD blessed marriage
Marriage is Honorable. Why?
- GOD initiated it - [Gen.2:18]
- GOD instituted it - [Gen.2:24], [Mat.19:5],Eph.5:31]
- GOD insulated it - [Mal.[2:14],[Prov.2:17],[Mat.19:6]
- GOD instructed about it - [Gen.2:24],[Mrk.10:6-9]
Christian Marriage is:
- An exclusive relationship - [Gen.2:24]
- An Intimate relationship - [Gen.2:25],[Heb.13:4]
- A complementary relationship - [Gen.2:18]
- A reproductive relationship - [Gen.1:28]
- A permanent relationship - [Mt.5:36],[Mal.2:16]
Characteristics and Examples of Bad choice:
From the Bible
It can cost your life, e.g. Samson and Delilah.
It can turn your heart away from GOD to evil ways, e.g. King Ahab and Jezebel.
It can affect your spiritual life, If your spouse is ungodly, e.g. Lot and his wife.
It can influence covetousness and hypocrisy in you, e.g. Ananias and Sapphira
Characteristics and Examples of Good choice:
From the Bible
It will result in a healthy love relationship, e.g. Isaac and Rebecca
It will be a dignified relationship, e.g. Boaz and Ruth
It will influence honor and godly behavior, e.g. Joseph and Mary
It will render support to accomplish GOD’s will in your life, e.g. Priscilla and Aquila
Marital relationship is GOD’s wonderful gift to mankind, where a man and woman unite together under a marriage covenant to become one flesh, according to Mathew19:5. In the eyes of GOD, it is a holy union and breaking of that union is a serious issue in HIS sight. The benefits of this union are best realized and experienced with GOD, in the center of this relationship, for a THREEFOLD cord is not quickly broken. [Ecclesiastes 4:12].
Role of wife: [1Peter 3:1-6]
In this passage the wife’s only responsibility in the family is to be in subjection to her husband. A woman is to be in submission to her husband not to mankind in general. To be in subjection to her husband does not imply any kind of natural inferiority on the part of the wife to the husband. In the marriage two people become one. Therefore there are two intellects, two sets of emotions, and two wills that have been joined to constitute one. To keep the union from fracturing and destroying itself, one of those persons is charged with leadership in the relationship, and one is charged with submission.
The wife’s submission to her husband is “adorning,” which makes her truly beautiful [1Peter3:3]. This inner beauty is of great value in GOD’s sight [1Peter3:4]. The believing women of the Old Testament, who hoped to be the human channel for the Messiah to come into the world, made themselves beautiful by being in subjection to their own husbands. This is supremely illustrated in the relationship between Sarah and Abraham. Wives are exhorted to do what Sarah did, to be in subjection to their husbands, letting the consequences rest with GOD, and thus become Sarah’s daughters [1Peter3:6]. For the wife who will do this, GOD promises that, if her husband is either an unbeliever or out of fellowship with GOD , her subjection can be the very means GOD will use to bring her husband into a proper relationship with HIM[1Peter3:1,2]. The wife’s subjection may lead to the husband’s salvation.
Role of the Husband: [Colossians 3:19]
Paul tells the husband to love his wife [Ephesians5:25], while Peter tells the husband to dwell together with his wife [1Peter3:7]. The husband cannot live with his wife as Peter says unless he loves her in the way Paul means. The love that the husband is commanded to have for the wife is not primarily sexual or emotional (though both of those concepts are involved); it is a love in spite of the response (or lack of it) in the one loved. It is the kind of love that GOD has for the world [John3:16] and is the fruit of the Spirit [Galatians5:22]. A husband can only love his wife properly if he is a Christian and under the control of the Holy Spirit.
The two responsibilities of the husband has in the family are to dwell with his wife accordingly to knowledge, and to render to his wife the honor which is due her because she is his wife .To “dwell together” with his wife means that the husband must take his wife into every aspect of his life. There are to be no areas of his life where there are signs that say, “Private, husband only-wife keep out.”
The husband is to perform his two duties for a spiritual purpose: “that your prayers may not be hindered.” The man who is not taking his wife into every aspect of his life and rendering to her the honor which is due her because she is his wife cannot communicate with her in the way that GOD intended; hence, he cannot communicate with GOD either. To make sure that the channel of communication with GOD is open, the husband must make sure that the channel of communication with his wife is open. Only in this way can he truly loves his wife as GOD intended and manifest his headship properly.
Quote From Songs Of Solomon
Set me as a seal upon your heart
As a seal upon your arm
For love is as strong as death
Jealousy as cruel as the grave
Its flames are flames of fire
A most vehement flame
Many waters cannot quench love
Nor can the floods drown it
If a man would give for love
All the wealth of his house
It would be utterly despised
[S.O.S 8: 6,7]